Horror Hostel at Paradise Beach

According to my travel book, Mykonos "glimmers happily under the sun...as a fabulous destination." Other words used to describe it include: glamorous, celebrity-filled, style and panache. I wish our expectations for what we would actually find at the end of our five-hour ferry ride would have been managed more realistically -- an important lesson I learned during my few years in PR.

Imagine a mix of what would be National Lampoon's Greek Getaway, except with Pris leading the way (I'm not allowed to lead anything now that she's discovered my hopeless sense of direction) instead of Chevy Chase, and Simple Life, except with two frugal Chinese girls instead of Paris and Nicole.

Throw in the following, and you'll have a good sense of what it was like to spend a night at the 11-Euro a night Paradise Beach Resort (ironic, right? I know, we should have guessed from the cheap price tag on an island known for overpriced luxury).

1. Arrive at around 22:00 and informed that there are no restaurants, bars or groceries open anywhere near the place. The actual town of Mykonos or "Hora" is a 30 min cab ride away, and even then, places might not be open because it's the off season (later found out that that's not true at all).

2. There are no towels. Luckily, I brought a Sham-Wow gifted to me by my dear friend Liz. Not so lucky for Pris.

3. Escorted past Pigeon House (a house full of birds at night can be very creepy) and through dark sandy pathway to rows of white wooden tents.

4. Side note: Pris' one condition on this trip was that she would help me save money by staying in cheap hostels, but she refused to go camping. While we had bathrooms within walking distance, the little tents with plants growing through the floors were still too much.

5. Haunted by ghosts of mosquitoes past through blood spattered, dead bug covered walls. Not exaggerating on this one.

6. Startled by what sounds like a cat being murdered outside.

7. Debate a while over what to do to kill time, since we both just took a five-hour ferry nap.

8. Went to bed hungry.

9. Woke up (faces covered in mosquito bites). Place looks way less scary in the daylight, except that we realize our tent is basically inside a giant litter box. Cat poo everywhere.

In the end, it really wasn't tooo bad, and we're both happy we went. Pris is even happier that we've upgraded to a 17-Euro a night place in downtown Mykonos with real walls, our own bathroom, mini fridge and clean towels.